Where do we go from here?
by lauripop-1987
Summary: Picks up where season 3 left off. Mainly Merder. This is my first fanfic so please don't be too harsh.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so this is my first (and so far only) attempt at a fic, so comments good and bad are really appriciated. It picks up right where the season finale left off and hopefully cleans up some of the mess that was left.**

**Disclaimer: Grey's anatomy is not mine, if it were then there would be lots of scenes with Patrick Dempsey, naked and covered in chocolate sauce.**

_

* * *

_

_"Meredith, I do love you. Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want; you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So, I'm asking you, if you don't see a future with us. Please... please just end it because I'm in it. Put me out of my misery."_

Meredith lay awake in bed, her arm underneath her head. It was numb, but tingly, that feeling you get just before pins and needles. She wanted to move it but couldn't. She didn't want to wake the person lying next to her. She'd known that she would spend the night of Christina's wedding in bed with somebody; she just never expected it to be Christina's bed, or with Christina.

The clock read 2:30am. It was 5 o'clock earlier that evening when Meredith had entered Christina's apartment to find her just stood in the living room, still in her dress. When Christina had broken down Meredith had stayed with her, holding her and sitting with her on the floor until 8 o'clock when she had managed to convince Christina that they should eat something. Not even knowing where to begin in the kitchen Meredith opted to phone out for a pizza instead. After eating, the only thing Meredith could think to do next was get Christina to bed. Not wanting to leave her alone Meredith had crawled into bed behind her person. That had been at 9:30 and now 5 hours later Meredith still lay awake.

She kept playing over in her head what Derek had said when he'd pulled her behind in the locker room before the wedding. She'd been angry with him, hurt by what he had said to her about the woman from the bar and after the week she'd had she was just about done. Trying to keep the hurt and pain out of her voice she told him straight to just end it if that's what he wanted. That's when he had made his declaration of love for her. She could remember each detail as though it was happening again right in front of her, his words, the look on his face, his piercing eyes looking straight into her and the touch of his hand on her cheek. She thought about his words, was she constantly leaving him? Did she walk away and come back whenever she wanted?

He'd thrown her off guard at the time. They were running late for the wedding and at that time she still believed that what she had said to Christina the night before was true. She thought that she needed Christina to get married to prove that people like her and Meredith stood a chance, to prove that Meredith wasn't wasting her time.

Looking back now she realised how stupid she was being trying to decide the status of her relationship based on the status of somebody else's. She realised that Derek was the love of her life too and that she did see a future with Derek.

She just hoped it wasn't too late…………

* * *

_"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."_

Derek lifted his head up off the table. He glanced at the clock, it was late. He shouldn't be here, he knew that, but where else was there to go? He didn't want to be at the trailer and Meredith obviously didn't want him. He knew she'd gone to Christina after the non-wedding, not that Meredith had told him herself, he'd had to ask Izzie if she knew where she was. That'd been hours ago, he knew Christina was going through something important and that she needed Meredith but surely Meredith knew that Derek needed something too.

An answer to his question was what he needed. Any answer. Honestly he didn't want Meredith to end it. He wanted her to come running up to him, telling him that she felt the same way, and then they could be together, but something in his gut made him feel like it just wouldn't happen.

He looked at the drink in front of him. Joe had poured it for him about 3 hours ago but he couldn't bring himself to drink it. He pulled out his wallet, threw some money onto the counter and left the bar. He checked the time. It was approaching 12 pm. He wasn't due in work until 10am in the morning but he didn't know where else to go.

As he walked along the hospital corridor towards his small office he paused outside a scrubbing in room next to an OR. He'd never forget this room. It was where Meredith had declared her love for him and asked, no, begged for him to pick her over Addison. He sighed and carried on walking. He hadn't picked her, but he wished that he had instead of trying to fulfil some sort of obligation to Addison. When he thought of all the wasted time it made him sick and sicker to think that they probably wouldn't be in the mess that they were now had he stayed with her when she asked him to.

As he rounded the corner he was so lost in his thoughts that he nearly fell over someone coming the opposite way. "Sorry Dr. Shepherd" he heard Bailey apologise. No usual sarky or witty comment, she didn't quite seem herself. He saw a bunch of unfamiliar faces behind her. "That's ok Dr. Bailey I wasn't concentrating" on a second look not all of the faces looked unfamiliar, in fact one face in particular looked very familiar, a little too familiar. "Well" Bailey interrupted his thoughts again "this is as good of a time as any to introduce you to this years interns. She turned to the interns "and this is our Head of Neurology, Dr. Shepherd"

Derek couldn't think what to say as he saw the female intern at the back staring at him intently with a humoured look on her face and a hint of flirtation in her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to those who left reviews, I'm a bit of a comment-whore, so if you review I'll update quicker **

* * *

Meredith was exhausted, it was just after 6am and if she didn't hurry she was going to be late for rounds. She ran towards the elevators stopping and heading for the stairs when she saw Derek walking towards them. She wanted to talk to him, but properly, not when she was late for rounds and had Bailey to answer to.

Izzie and Alex were sat in the locker room wondering where everyone else was and watching the new interns as they buzzed round comparing their 1st shift so far.

"Were we so….." Izzie began,

"Bright and shiny?" Alex finished. "I don't think we were, I don't remember. A lot has happened this year"

"Should we warn them?" Izzie wondered.

"And spoil the fun of watching them fall apart, nah"

"OK, listen up" Bailey shouted over the noise "Karev, Stevens. Since you are no longer interns you get to look after one for the day, they will shadow you and report you understood?"

Meredith snuck through the door and tried to get to her locker without drawing attention to her as Bailey carried on dishing out orders.

"Karev, you can take Johnson, Stevens you can take Grey"

Izzie looked confused "Wait, just because she was late doesn't mean Meredith should have to shadow me!" "Way to go Iz!" Meredith thought "so much for being discreet"

Bailey rolled her eyes "Not Meredith you fool! The new intern Lexie Grey"

Meredith's ears pricked up and she began to panic, just as she thought she was about to start hyperventilating Christina burst through the doors.

Bailey sent the interns off with Alex and Izzie and stayed behind to see what Christina wanted.

"What are you doing here? You aren't supposed to be here" she glared.

"No" Christina answered, "I'm supposed to be on my honeymoon but since that's not going to be happening anytime soon, I'm here. I have nowhere else to go" She finished as Bailey was still glaring.

"Fine", She admitted defeat, "Grey, you stay with Yang. I need to go and find all my interns, they're probably off running wild on my damn surgical floor" She was still grumbling as she left the room.

"Christina, are you ok?" Meredith asked concerned. Christina was a little hesitant in answering. "No, but I'm here where I need to be, I'll be fine……Eventually…Maybe."

Meredith gave her a smile as they left the locker room and headed for the elevators. The doors opened and they stepped to the back as people filled the elevator around them. It stopped on the next floor and Meredith bowed down to hide behind the person in front as she recognised Lexie. From behind Lexie, Derek stepped on his hands full with charts and Meredith bowed down even further. Christina watched all this, mildly amused.

Meredith's ears pricked up for the second time that morning as she heard Derek speak. "So you're an intern here" "Yes I am" Lexie answered "And you're a doctor, head of neuro no less" She stated. "Yes I am" Derek answered with a small laugh. "You never mentioned that when we were flirting in the bar the other night" Lexie said looking up at Derek. Meredith's head shot up, she could feel all the blood rushing to her head. The elevator pinged to announce their arrival on the floor and Meredith fought her way to the front pushing her way past Derek. He tried to grab her as she went past but she was already gone.

* * *

Derek ran to catch the elevator before the doors shut. He stood at the front and saw the new intern, the girl from the bar already stood there. She began to make small talk with him and he responded politely. There was something so familiar about her, something more than the fact that they'd already met. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. She mentioned the night in the bar and he heard a choking noise from the back of the elevator. Meredith appeared from no-where and as quickly as she'd appeared, she disappeared. Pushing past him and running out of the elevator.

The charts in Derek's hands fell to the floor as he tried to reach out to Meredith. He watched her run off down the hall then turned to pick them up. He saw Christina still stood at the back of the elevator and carried on gathering the charts. He could feel her shooting daggers with her eyes.

The intern bent down to help and started with the small talk again, all he could think about was finding Meredith. He heard the intern mention something about getting a coffee, was she serious? He stood up with his charts collected and turned to her. "I don't think that'd be a very good idea, it's not like I even know your name" and before she had chance to say anything he was gone.

Lexie stood there, a little hurt by the rejection. She noticed a doctor with dark curly hair looking at her. "You have no idea what you're messing with" the doctor said as she too left the elevator. By now everybody had left and Lexie was left stood alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Derek dumped his charts at the nurse's station and took off down the hall as he tried to think where Meredith would have gone. He was wondering whether to begin with the galleries or with patient's rooms when he heard a noise coming from the nearest supply closet.

Meredith was struggling to keep control of her breathing as tears were falling down her face. So, Derek had met a woman, and flirted with her, and it just happened to be Meredith's half sister. She'd been hoping that Derek had been lying to try and get a rise out of her, to scare her into opening up to him, but then she'd seen them in the elevator and it'd been clear as anything that Lexie was attracted to him. There was no way that Meredith was sticking around to find out if Derek felt the same. And so she found herself sat on the floor of a supply, struggling to breathe.

She looked up as she heard the door open, looking away when she saw who it was. Derek looked down at her sadly, the scene before him gave him a sense of de-ja-vu. He couldn't believe that he had upset her so much. He knelt down next to her, taking her small hands into his. At his touch Meredith really broke down. She looked so tired, exhausted even.

Meredith felt him take her hands as she continued to look at the floor. He'd come and found her, this was a good thing right? It meant that he cared. She could feel him looking at the top of her head, knew without looking that his gorgeous piercing blue eyes were gazing upon her. She swallowed, still crying and looked up. She'd been right, and her own eyes connected with his.

Not sure what to say or how to even begin to explain himself Derek decided that he wouldn't. He pulled her into his arms and just held her. Rocking her gently he waited until she was ready to talk; he just stayed there, holding her.

Derek kept his hold of Meredith as she cried. He wasn't sure how long they sat there but he knew it had been a while. He knew that she wasn't crying just over what had happened in the elevator but over everything that happened in the past few weeks; the ferry, her mother, Susan, her father, his rejection and humiliation, the exam. He looked up at the ceiling. Thinking about it all at once like this and seeing her in this state made him realise what an idiot he'd been. He wanted to hit something as he thought about how stupidly insensitive he'd acted.

Just as he was about to say something he felt her move so that she was sitting up straight. She'd stopped crying and she was looking at him, her face shiny and wet from the tears. He began wiping her face "I think we need to talk"

"Yeah" Meredith answered, her voice shaky "I think we do, not here tho-" she was cut off by Derek's pager, "And not now" Derek finished rolling his eyes. He stood and helped her to her feet, leaned down and kissed her, a sweet, soft, gentle kiss. "I'll come and find you as soon as I'm done, OK?" and he left the closet.

After taking a minute or two to compose herself, Meredith made her way to the cafeteria to grab a coffee. She spotted Christina and Izzie sitting together and made her way over. As she approached the table she realised that the interns, including Lexie, were sitting right at the next table. She slid into an empty chair next to Izzie and without so much as a hello Christina bombarded Meredith with questions.

"Are you ok? Did he find you? Where were you? What did he say? What did you say?"

"Christina, keep your voice down, it's hard enough to keep my private life private without you broadcasting it for me"

"I'm just curious, OW! Concerned, I'm concerned." Izzie was glaring at Christina and it was obvious that she had given Christina a kick under the table.

Izzie was curious to know too though; she just liked the think that she was a little more tactful. All Christina had said was that something had upset Meredith in the elevator, she hadn't mentioned what it was.

"Start from the beginning Mer, fill us in from there" Izzie directed

Meredith sighed and began "well remember I told you about Derek's highlight of his week thing from the other night?" Christina nodded "McBarwhore, yeah, carry on" "Well, I'm on the elevator and in walks" she lowered her voice and everyone leaned in "in walks Lexie, followed by Derek, and they start talking to each other like they are friends or something but nooo, they aren't friends! She's his highlight of the week girl, the one he was flirting with."

"OH MY GOD!" Izzie shouted and the whole cafeteria looked up. "McDreamy's McBarwhore is your McSister?!?"

Meredith looked around sinking into her chair "thanks Iz"


	4. Chapter 4

Derek stood looking at the OR board. He'd just left one unsuccessful surgery and still had another two scheduled one straight after the other. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It would be hours before he'd have a chance to talk to Meredith properly. He saw Addison approaching with a hot chocolate in each hand; he smiled as she gave him one. "Thought you could use some Ju-Ju"

"You and your Ju-Ju" he laughed, stopping when she frowned "don't diss the Ju-Ju!"

They stood silent for a minute as they sipped their drinks.

Addison broke the silence. "So, remember back when Meredith was having her surgery and I told you not to hurt her again?"

"Yes……" Derek could tell where she was going with this.

"How's that going for you?" She looked at him

"Depends what you've heard" Derek answered, Addison wasn't the person he wanted to discuss this with, that person was Meredith.

Before they had chance to continue Bailey interrupted. "I noticed that you have room in your next surgery for another two doctors and thought that Stevens and Grey could scrub in, is that ok?" Derek nodded "that'd be great" even if he couldn't talk to Meredith it'd be nice to have her in the same room.

Lexie and Izzie stood in the OR room waiting for the surgery to begin. Everyone was present and ready except for Dr. Shepherd.

"So" Izzie heard Lexie say from under her surgical mask "I've been thinking about it and I don't really understand it so I'm just gonna ask straight out. I must be the "McSister", since you were talking to Meredith who is my half sister, but what I don't understand is why that makes me a "McBarwhore" and who the heck is "McDreamy"?"

Izzie didn't know what to say "Erm, well um, er"

"Alright everybody, it's a beautiful day to save lives. Lets have some fun."

Thankgod, Izzie breathed a sigh of relief.

Derek looked over confused. "Dr. Stevens, Bailey told me that it was you and Dr. Grey scrubbing in with me"

"Oh I forgot" The new intern rolled her eyes "it's not like you even know my name, I'm Lexie Grey." Derek stepped back, a little shocked and saw that with her head and mouth face covered, she looked exactly like Meredith. They had the same eyes.

Meredith watched the scene occurring from the gallery. So he hadn't known that it was it was Meredith's sister. She carried on watching as she tried to decide which was worse. A highlight of the week McBarwhore who he knew was her sister, or a highlight of the week McBarwhore who was so great that it hadn't been important enough to exchange names.

* * *

Derek paid for his two coffees and went to his office. He was surprised to see Meredith sat on his small sofa. He sat down next to her and passed her one of the coffees. "How did you know I was here?" she asked. "I didn't," He replied" I was just going to sit for a minute before coming looking for you." "Sorry about your surgeries" Meredith said sympathetically. All 3 of his patients had died this morning on the table, Derek wasn't used to losing that many at one time.

Derek cleared his throat "So, we need to talk" "Yeah we do" Meredith said looking at the floor; she didn't even know where to begin. Derek lifted up her face by the chin so that they were looking into each other's eyes. "Let me go first" He felt Meredith tense as though she still wasn't quite ready to do this, but he finally had her sat down and willing to talk. He wasn't going to let her go.

Meredith's heart was beating hard in her chest. She'd never been so petrified in her life. She wasn't sure exactly what she was afraid of. She was an adult, perfectly capable of talking and having conversations, but bearing her soul? She'd only ever done that once, and it hadn't turned out so well.

Derek interrupted her thoughts, "I was an ass." He stood up and began pacing "an idiot, a jerk. I was stupid and selfish, and most of all I was wrong and I hurt you. I never meant to do that, I never wanted to do that, but I did and-" his voice cracked "it's killing me."

Meredith stood to speak but Derek put a finger over her lips as he carried on. "At Burke's bachelor party there was a girl watching me all night, and when I went to the bar she approached me. I flirted with her, nothing serious, just a bit of flirting, and then I lied to you. It wasn't the highlight of my week, and I didn't know she was your sister, not until earlier today." He looked at Meredith but there was no reaction on her face, she was unreadable. "I don't know why I told you the way I did. I think that I was trying to scare you into opening up to me." At this last admission he felt his cheeks flush a little. He was ashamed of himself.

Meredith leaned forward and kissed him before saying her piece. "Derek, I get that you're sorry about how you acted and I understand that you acted that way because you think that I'm not opening up to you enough, but I've tried, believe me I have tried. It's just that every time I do try I'm reminded of the only ever time I've opened up to anyone properly." Tears were shining in her eyes, but she was determined not to cry. "It was you Derek, I put myself out there for you, gave you my heart and you stomped all over it and picked Addison. I can't forget it no matter how hard I try. So if you want me to trust you enough to hand you my heart again then you're going to have to earn it."

She left his office and ran to catch the elevator before it closed. Glad that it was empty she let her tears fall. It had been a long day.

Derek fell onto the sofa and held his head in hands. What could he do to win her back again?

* * *

Pulling her car into the driveway of her house Meredith wasn't surprised to see Christina's bike in front, nor was she surprised to find her in her bed when she went upstairs. "Hey" Christina mumbled tiredly.

"Hey, I thought you'd have been asleep by now, its past midnight."

"I couldn't sleep. I know how you felt now when Derek left you for Addison.

"How do you mean?"

"Ugh" Christina pulled her face "Everybody looking at you in corridors, watching you in the cafeteria, whispering about you when they think you can't hear them."

"Ignore it" Meredith flounced onto the bed next to Christina. "They'll soon get bored and find something else to talk about."

"Speaking of talking, did you find Derek?"

"Yeah I did"

"And does the fact that you are lay in bed with me and not him mean that it didn't go well?"

"It went fine"

"Sooo……..why are you lay in bed with me and not him?"

Meredith sat up "Well he admitted what an idiot he's been, and he apologised, and I love him, but he hurt me, again, and I can't just go back to normal. He can't hurt me and then expect me to trust him again just like that" she snapped her fingers to emphasise her point. "He has to earn it"

"Earn it? Like how?"

"I don't know do I? I've never done this before" Meredith threw herself back onto the bed. "It'll be interesting to see what he comes up with though."

* * *

Derek sat on a stool as Joe poured his usual scotch. Mark sat beside him and ordered a beer.

"Mark, am I glad to see you!?"

"Huh? You hate my guts" Mark looked confused.

"I need some advice, and Burke is off in hiding somewhere, and O'Malley seems to be missing too"

Mark rolled his eyes "What's up? If it's woman troubles neither of those would've been much help anyway given the past week."

"Good point. It's Meredith, she says I have to earn her back, and I'm not sure what to do."

Mark thought for a second. "Well, how did you get her in the first place? I know you met her here and managed to well you know," he winked "but what about after that?"

Derek laughed, "I harassed her in elevators and stairwells until she caved in. Everything was so much better back then, it was fun you know? The flirting?"

Now it was Marks turn to laugh. "Yeah I know how fun the flirting is. It usually ends up with me in trouble though."

Joe leaned over the bar "sorry Derek, but I couldn't help overhearing and I think you need to give Meredith heat, and romance. Damn it! Make her feel like a lady you know?!"

Mark raised his eyebrows and Derek tried not to laugh. "Thanks Joe I'll bear that in mind."

Once he'd walked away Derek and Mark burst out laughing. They ordered more drinks and as they chatted Mark couldn't help but feel a little bit grateful that Derek and Meredith were having problems, because it'd had made Derek talk to him better than he had for months.


	5. Chapter 5

"_Coffee cart, 10 past 7"_

Meredith read the card twirling the red rose that she'd found with it between her fingers. It had been in her locker when she opened it a minute ago. "So the wooing has begun" she thought to herself. She quickly got changed and ran to the coffee cart to make it there in time. Instead of finding Derek as she'd expected, she saw another rose on the counter of the cart. This one was yellow and came with a card that said "_OR board, quarter past 7"_ She smiled to herself as she made her way to the OR board holding the roses in her hands. Here she found a white rose and a card that said "_My office NOW_" She giggled and made her way to Derek's office wondering what to expect.

She was surprised when she opened the door to find it empty. Turning around to leave she saw Derek step out from behind the door. "Leaving already?" he had another rose in his hand. This one was purple. "Maybe, unless you give me a reason to stay." Derek kissed her "I can think of plenty of reasons" He whispered as he started kissing her ear. Meredith felt her knees weakening and pulled herself away. "It's a shame that I've got rounds then isn't it?" Derek pulled his face. "I'm Bailey's boss, I'll sort her out, and you don't ever have to rounds again if you don't want to. We could have our own rounds in here" He pulled her back to him and started kissing her again. "Thanks, really, that's nice of you, but I've got interns now." She hit him playfully with the roses. "I have to set an example." "Fine" Derek sulked. "Who've you got today?" Meredith made her way to the door and opened it "I don't know" she looked back at Derek. "But as long as it's not Lexie then I don't care. She turned to walk out and bumped right into Lexie.

"Bailey sent me to find you. I'm with you today." Lexie had heard what Meredith had said but decided to be as professional as possible. "Great" Meredith said "let's get going" she walked off. Lexie couldn't help but look at Derek before going after her.

* * *

"Why? Why? Why on earth would Bailey put her with me?" Meredith moaned to Christina over lunch. Christina shrugged "you done anything lately to piss her off?"

Meredith shook her head as she chewed angrily on her sandwich. "Maybe she did it to piss off Lexie, I mean this has got to be annoying her more than me right? Especially after I stuck her in the pit whilst I scrubbed in on a surgery with Derek."

Christina laughed "You are evil, and don't talk with your mouth full, it's gross."

"I'm evil? I bet you haven't been any better with your intern."

"True" Christina acknowledged. "I had him running labs whilst I scrubbed in on a case of Siamese twin babies with Addison." They both burst out laughing and tried to make the most of their time before they had to get back to their interns.

From the entrance of the cafeteria Preston Burke was surprised to see Christina laughing. He was surprised to see her here at all but then realised quickly where else would she be? Her work and career were her life; surely he didn't expect a little thing like him leaving her at the altar to disrupt that for a day or two did he? He immediately chastised himself. He'd left her, she didn't owe him anything. He sighed and left. Making his way to his office to collect his things.

Meredith met Derek in the waiting area when her shift finished. "You look tired" Derek commented as he kissed her. "Gee thanks" Meredith snapped. "You look like crap yourself" "I never said you look like crap, I said you look tired. And for your information, I never look like crap." "Sorry, I'm just exhausted and Lexie is a cow. I swear I had to tell her everything twice."

"Aww" Derek put his arm round her shoulder and started walking them out of the hospital. "It's a good job that I've got an evening of relaxation planned for you then isn't it."

"Ooh, sounds nice, what exactly does this 'evening of relaxation' involve?"

Derek shook his head. "That would be telling, but it begins with a chauffer driven ride to my trailer" Derek helped Meredith into his car and then ran round to the drivers side to get in himself.

Once at his trailer Derek poured Meredith a glass of wine and they both sat outside while Derek cooked some fish he had caught earlier in the week. When they had finished eating Derek took Meredith inside for the first time since they'd arrived there.

Her breath was taken away when she saw what he'd done. There were flower petals thrown over the bed, and she could smell lavender oil burning. There was a towel at the end of the bed and she could see some bottles of lotion on the side table. She looked at Derek with her eyebrow raised questioningly. Derek caught her look and put his arms up. "It's not what you think. I'm going to give you a massage, but nothing sexual, honest." He grinned "Unless you want it……." Meredith laughed and got undressed, wrapping the towel around her she lay front down on the bed. She felt Derek climb on behind her. Glad that Derek had kept his clothes on and grateful that he wasn't trying to rush her sexually.

"Close your eyes, you'll enjoy it more" Derek instructed. He turned on the CD player with a remote and reached over for a bottle of lotion. Once he was convinced that Meredith had her eyes closed he pulled out a piece of paper 'The perfect massage in 10 easy steps' "thank god for the internet" thought Derek as he started 'step number 1'

* * *

**3 weeks later**

"Mark, you have to help me" Derek sounded desperate. "I'll do my best what's up?"

Derek started a rant "it's been three weeks, three weeks since Meredith and I started again. Three long weeks in which there has been no sex because I was being respectful of Meredith's feelings, and she didn't want to sleep together too soon. But it's been three weeks, and let's remember that this is Meredith we're talking about. Usually she can't last three days! I'm breaking up Mark. It's been three weeks. I need sex."

"WOAH!!" Mark interrupted. "I'm really glad that we're friends again, and that you're sharing your problems, but I'm afraid my duties as your friend do not, under any circumstances extend to sexual favours."

"Good, I'd been scared if they did"

"I don't want to state the obvious but have you tried talking to her about it?"

"No, I don't want it to seem like that's all I'm after. Plus she does seem tired all of the time. I think everything that happened to her last month really took its toll on her. I keep catching her asleep in my office when she's supposed to be on her lunch."

"You mean she isn't eating properly either?" Mark asked

"She says she is but I don't think so. She messes with the food on her plate when I cook before eating a few mouthfuls and saying that she's full."

Mark looked concerned. "I think you need to talk this out with her, it sounds like it could be serious."

"Maybe she misses Christina" The day that Burke had shown up to clear out his office Christina had bumped into him in the car park. When she'd found out that he wasn't coming back she'd completely broken down. Her mother and Webber had decided together that it was best if she took leave and went to LA with her mother until she felt better.

"Maybe she does" Mark agreed "but you still need to talk to her"

Meredith heard the phone click as someone answered at the other end. "Meredith thank god you've rung. I need to come home, I hate it here, and it's sunny, everyday. I need to come home to rainy Seattle and surgeries. Make up an emergency now and I'll be out on the next plane, quick go"

"I think I'm pregnant"

Meredith heard Christina yell on the other end of the line. "MOM! Pack my bag I need to go home, Meredith thinks she's pregnant." Christina returned to talking to Meredith. "Thanks, I was thinking more of a surgical problem at work or something, but I suppose a fake crisis from you will work."

"Christina, seriously, I think I'm pregnant." Meredith's voice was calm, but tears were running down her cheeks.


	6. Chapter 6

"Wait, you really mean it? How? When? I thought you'd and Derek had been holding off of the sex for a while."

"We have" Meredith said through her tears. "It's been three weeks since we started things again and we didn't do anything for two weeks before that."

"So that's at least five weeks and you didn't notice anything? I thought you were a gifted doctor"

"I just thought it was the stress of everything you know? Plus I've never been that regular. But now I've started getting sick too. Just the thought of food makes my head spin" Even as she was talking on the phone Meredith felt sick.

"It sucks doesn't it? What's Derek said?"

"Erm…..well…." Meredith was hesitant to answer

"You haven't told him have you?"

"I haven't even done a test yet, what if there's nothing to tell?"

"Meredith, you do remember what caused all the problems between you and Derek a few weeks ago don't you. You don't open up to him. Go find him now, and do a test together."

"Christina, I can't. What if he's angry, what if he doesn't want a baby? What if I don't want a baby? The timing stinks, we don't even live together and what if I turn out like my mom?"

"You can't really worry about inflicting years of hurt and suffering on your child if you don't even know if you are having one. Now find Derek, talk to him, and do a freaking test!!"

"You are a bully you know that, and you're in LA, you can't make me do anything."

"I've got Derek's number stored in my phone, hang up while I ring him and tell him for you."

"You know that I hate you don't you?"

"Of course I do, you're my person, and I'll see you tonight when I get home"

Meredith was in the locker room. She had spent the rest of the day doing a mixture of looking for Derek and avoiding him. Every time she thought she'd plucked up enough courage to tell him, she chickened out and ran away. She did have enough courage to buy a test though; she could feel the box in the pocket of her lab coat. She'd carried it round with her hoping that it would convince her to tell Derek but so far it had failed. She took it out of her pocket and looked at it. A box with a stick in it shouldn't be this scary; she turned it over in her hand. "Provides accurate results within days of conception" Could people really tell just days after? How had she missed it until now? She turned and looked in the mirror. She didn't look any different, her clothes weren't any tighter. Maybe it _was_ something else. She threw the box into her bag as she heard the door open.

Lexie walked up to her. "I think that we should talk"

"Huh?" Meredith blinked at her

"Things are really awkward between us, and I think we should talk or something because we have to work together day in and day out and-"

Meredith put a hand up to stop Lexie's rambling. "I don't have time for this. I'm supposed to be meeting Derek, my boyfriend. That's Dr. Shepherd to you." She grabbed her stuff and walked out leaving Lexie stood there.

* * *

They met at the entrance to Seattle Grace and left towards the car park. They got in Derek's car and started driving. 

"Can we go to the trailer tonight?" Meredith asked quietly.

"Sure" Derek started driving to the trailer "any particular reason?"

"Um, well there's something I need us to do, and I don't think my house is the best place to do it. Alex and Izzie will be there"

Derek smiled, finally, he thought. Tonight's the night, after three long weeks. He drove a little faster eager to get home.

He unlocked the trailer and hadn't even put his keys down before showering Meredith with kisses.

"Wow, someone's happy to be home" Meredith couldn't help giggling.

"I'm happy to have you in my home" Derek tried to kiss her again.

"No, wait." Meredith looked serious. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Oh" Derek was disappointed. "Well if it can wait a minute, I just need the bathroom"

Meredith nodded and sat down. When he'd disappeared into the tiny bathroom she reached down and pulled the test out of her bag. She set it onto the table and looked at it. Then she reached and threw it back into her bag. She did this a few more time and was looking at it when Derek left the bathroom.

"OK, I'm ready what did you want to- is that what I think it is?"

Derek was looking at the pregnancy test as though it was a rat sat in his dinner or something. His face had gone green. Meredith looked up at him. She couldn't speak and there were tears in her eyes.

He snapped himself out of his panic and sat down next to Meredith and hugged her, he couldn't help think about how tonight probably wasn't the night he'd thought it would be even though it had been three weeks.

"I didn't want to do it by myself, and I don't know if I am pregnant, it could be anything. I have been pretty stressed lately."

Derek shushed her "It's ok, and it's ok if you are. We'll handle it." He hugged Meredith tightly, "And thank you for waiting to do this with me." He knew that just a few weeks ago Meredith would have probably faced this alone rather than open up to him and include him.

Meredith took a deep breath and stood up. "I guess I should get it over and done with" Derek nodded.

"I'll be right out here" he watched go into the bathroom and sighed. Her strange behaviour made sense now. He was grateful it wasn't anything more serious. After his talk with Mark he'd been thinking of all the worst case scenarios. A pregnancy hadn't even crossed his mind. If she was she'd have be about five weeks along. He smiled; he'd always wanted kids, so what if the timing wasn't right. People in worse situations than them managed. He let his thoughts wander as he waited patiently for Meredith.

Meanwhile Meredith was sat on the toilet looking at the pregnancy test. 'Just get it over and done with' she willed herself. Meredith had never wanted kids. She was too scared of turning out like Ellis. All that had changed when she'd met Derek, all of sudden she did want kids. Not now though, she'd been thinking more like years down the line……..She chewed on her bottom lip nervously as she opened up the box and read the instructions. It was time to pee on the stick.

* * *

Once she'd finished, Meredith left the bathroom and set the test on top of some paper on the table. 

"We have to wait for two minutes" She sat down next to Derek resting her head on his shoulder. "Are you mad?" she asked timidly.

Derek looked at her, "of course not, why would I be?"

"It's such crappy timing. We've been so on and off, we don't live together, I only just finished my first year of internship, you've only just finalised your divorce from Addison. What will people think?"

"Who cares what people think?" Derek kissed her hair "all that matters is us, and we'll be fine." He could feel himself getting excited and tried to stop himself. They didn't know anything yet, and Meredith didn't seem very excited at all. She looked petrified.

Meredith was petrified. 'I can't be pregnant' she thought 'please don't let me be pregnant. I don't want a baby please don't let me be pregnant' she thought over and over again until Derek spoke up.

"It's been two minutes"

Meredith didn't move as Derek reached for the test. He didn't say anything.

"Well, what does it say?" Meredith asked.

He showed her the test. It was negative.


	7. Chapter 7

Meredith was relieved, more relieved than she'd ever felt until she saw that Derek looked sad. "Hey" she put her hand to his cheek "you ok?" She could see the disappointment in his eyes, even as he assured her that he was fine and she felt guilty that she didn't feel the same way.

His disappointment soon turned to worry. "You'd better get yourself checked out at the hospital tomorrow so we can find out what's wrong with you." Meredith nodded though she looked lost in her thoughts.

The next day at the hospital Lexie was sat in the locker room. She'd arrived early and there was nobody else in yet.

She was reading one of her textbooks as a guy walked in. He looked familiar. "Hey, do I know you?" He looked at her and she recognised him. "It's George isn't it? I thought you were leaving"

"I was" he said. He might as well tell her what'd happened. Everyone would know eventually anyway. "I was a first year intern but I failed. I wanted to just give up but Chief Webber convinced me to think about it and gave me a few weeks leave."

"So, you're repeating your first year? You're an intern with us?" George nodded "Good, I need all the help I can get" Lexie laughed "I'd only been here a week and I hit on my sister's boyfriend twice"

"Your sis-? Wait Mered-? You hit on Dr. Shepherd?"

Lexie groaned "I didn't know he was Dr. Shepherd, not the first time anyway. But I didn't know he was Merediths boyfriend."

"I bet that didn't go down well"

"Nope, I think I'm the least popular intern" She smiled weakly.

Their conversation was cut short as people began to enter the room.

* * *

"Dr. Bailey, are you busy?" Bailey was charging down the corridor when Meredith stopped her 

"I'm on my way into surgery Grey, what's wrong?"

"I need a consult."

"Who for?"

Meredith coughed nervously. "Me"

"Page Dr. Montgomery, she'll see to you."

"What? Addison? No, I can wait, forget it"

"Don't make me tell you twice, you need a consult and Addison is free, go page her! NOW!"

* * *

'Crap' Meredith thought as she lay on a bed and threw her head back against the pillow. 

"Ok Dr. Grey, what can I do for you today." Addison walked into the room her heels clicking on the floor.

"Um, well I've been feeling nauseous a lot" Addison groaned inwardly, she could see what was coming.

"When was your last period?" she saw Meredith blush slightly.

"I don't remember, I've never really been that regular. I know what you're thinking and I did a test. It was negative."

Addison gave a small laugh "those things are nowhere near as reliable as they tell you on the box. I'll do a blood test."

'Crap' Meredith thought again

"Do you want me to page Derek?" Addison asked as she finished drawing some blood from Meredith.

Meredith shook her head "He's in surgery" Addison looked at Meredith and sighed. She was fidgeting with the bed sheet, she looked scared stiff and Addison knew that Derek would have gladly stepped out of surgery for something like this. It crossed her mind to just page him anyway but she quickly rejected the idea, Meredith had said no.

"Is there anyone else I could page? Maybe one of your roommates?"

"Christina, she said she was on her way home, she should be here by now."

"Ok, I'll do that then I'll be back with the results" She was still picking at the bed sheet.

* * *

"Thank you so much" Christina sailed into Meredith's room planting herself in a chair and putting her feet up on the bed. "I was in with the chief, he's not happy that I came back early but Addison's page saved me. What does she think is wrong you?" 

"She's took some blood to test for a pregnancy. Apparently those 'really accurate' pregnancy tests aren't accurate at all. They should change the description really, it's misleading."

"So where's Derek?"

"In surgery, Addison wanted to page him but I said no"

Christina sighed "Meredith, what did I tell you on the phone? He'd want to be here, he'll be annoyed when he finds out."

"I don't want him to get his hopes up. He tried to hide it but he got excited yesterday then he was disappointed when it was negative."

"And how do you feel?"

The colour suddenly disappeared from Meredith's "Like I'm gonna throw up!" she ran to the bathroom

"Don't think I'm coming in and holding your hair for you, I don't do vomit!"

Meredith didn't look much better as she emerged from the bathroom about half an hour later.

"You look like crap" Christina said as she flicked through Meredith's chart.

"Like you looked so hot when you were pregnant" Meredith retorted as she settled herself back onto the bed.

"AHA! So, you're finally admitting that you're pregnant?"

"Shut up, and put my chart away, you aren't my doctor" She reached to grab the chart but Christina pulled it out of her reach.

"So, you think Derek will be pleased?" Christina pushed

"Yeah, he's always wanted kids. He loves his family, did I tell you he has 14 nieces and nephews?"

"Yeah you did, it's sickening. So how about you? Are you pleased?"

Meredith raised an eyebrow at Christina. "Were you pleased when you were pregnant? Oh wait no, you weren't, you were booked in for a termination!"

"Hey" Christina said angrily "This isn't about me, and are you saying that if you're pregnant you don't want it?"

"I -" Meredith paused "I don't know. Anyway, it's too late. There's no way that Derek would agree."

"He wouldn't have to know"

"Know what?" Derek breezed into the room and planted a kiss on Meredith's forehead.

"Nothing" Meredith lied pulling away. "What're you doing here?"

"Bailey mentioned that you were getting a consult. Do we know what's wrong yet?"

"No, I'm waiting for the test results"

"Looks like your wait is over, I'm gonna go" Christina got up and left the room as Addison walked in.

"Ok, do you want Derek to leave while I go over your results with you?" Addison asked. Meredith shook her head, he'd know eventually anyway.

"Well then, I'll just spit it out. We were right, you're pregnant, I can't tell you how far since you don't remember when you last had a period but-"

"It'd be at least five weeks" Meredith interrupted. Addison looked at her questioningly. Meredith cleared her throat, "That's…….the last……..the last time that we……er……….you know?" Addison raised her eyebrows as she realised what Meredith was saying.

"Oh, ok" She tried to shrug it off as though she wasn't talking about the last time one of her interns had had sex with her ex husband and was now pregnant with said ex.

"Well, I'll get an ultrasound in here and we'll take a proper look ok?"

Derek turned and smiled at Meredith as Addison walked out. Meredith smiled back weakly. He pulled her into a hug, "I can't believe it, and after that test I just dismissed the idea. This is unbelievable." Meredith hugged him back "Yeah" she agreed "unbelievable…………………"


	8. Chapter 8

"Ok, this is going to be cold" Meredith winced as Addison rubbed the cold gel onto her stomach. "Are you ready?" Meredith nodded a lump forming in her throat. She could feel Derek's hand gripping hers tightly; she could sense his happiness and his excitement and willed herself to feel the same.

Addison put the probe onto Meredith's stomach "Ok, give it a few seconds" The room was silent until the strange sound of the heartbeat filled it. "Wow!" Derek had tears in his eyes as he smiled at Meredith.

"Judging by the strength of the heartbeat and the size of the foetus, I'd say you're about 9 weeks along."

9 weeks, that meant that they'd conceived just before the ferry accident. Whilst Meredith had practically died, this foetus, well group of cells, had fought to survive, and had won. Derek knew this was a sign, that after all they had been through they were finally going to make it.

Meredith stared at the screen; she couldn't believe this was happening. Why couldn't she be happy like Derek was? What was wrong with her that this thing that was good news for most people filled her with dread?

Addison wiped the gel off her stomach and handed her a picture. Meredith couldn't really see anything as she placed it onto the bed next to her. This all felt too much, she couldn't concentrate and the room was spinning. She leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Derek chased after her. He found her knelt in front of the toilet. He pulled her hair away from her face until she was done.

"I guess I'd better get used to this" Meredith said as she wiped her mouth.

"Feel any better now you've thrown up?"

Meredith shook her head "I've got a pounding headache"

Derek frowned, "When did that start?" Meredith didn't answer him as her eyes fluttered shut and she fell into him fainting.

He carried her to the bed and she came round straight away. "When did you last eat?" He asked with a frown. Meredith shook her head "nothing stays down."

"I'm going to check with Addison and then we're going home, you're not well enough to keep working today." He left the room and Meredith found herself looking at the picture Addison had given her. When she looked hard enough she could see the baby on the grainy image; it looked like a deformed peanut. Her hand wandered to her stomach, it didn't feel any different, yet.

Derek came back in smiling. "Addison said its fine and I cleared it with the chief, let's go home."

"Wait, what did you tell the chief" He was telling people already?!

"Relax, I told him that we are both sick from something we ate last night. I also told Addison that this not public knowledge. We'll tell people when we are both ready." He kissed her forehead. "Come on, I'll take you home."

* * *

Meredith giggled as Derek finished tucking the bed sheet around her. She resembled a mummy the sheet was tucked so tight. He threw some magazines onto the bed "Ok, we have magazines to keep you occupied, ginger tea for the morning sickness," he held up a bottle "water to keep you hydrated, and a bowl for in case you can't make it to the bathroom, is there anything else you need while I go and sort out some dinner for us?"

"I think you've covered all bases, I'm good"

"Are you sure? I'm only downstairs if you need me just shout."

"Derek, I'm fine honestly. I'll still be here when you come back up, I couldn't go anywhere even if I tried" She pointed at the tight sheets.

"Good, I did it on purpose. Derek Shepherd isn't daft." He disappeared into the hall and down the stairs.

Meredith felt like she'd barely closed her eyes when she heard Derek return to the room, he was carrying a tray with two steaming bowls of soup.

"Were you sleeping?"

"I dunno, I didn't realise I was so tired" She took a bowl off Derek and began eating it quickly.

"Or how hungry you are?" Derek poked her and Meredith giggled. "Leave me alone, I'm eating for two"

"Believe me I haven't forgotten" Derek grinned.

Meredith finished her soup and settled down again. Derek gave her a quick kiss then moved down the bed so that his head was resting gently on her stomach.

"So, how is it you know exactly what a pregnant woman needs?" she asked running her hands through Derek's thick hair.

"I've got 4 sisters and 14 nieces and nephews; I've come across my fair share of pregnant women"

"Ah, of course you have. And did you treat them as nicely as this?"

Derek shook his head. "Nope, they were only my sisters, not my girlfriend" He sat back up "and they weren't as pretty as you"

"Will you think I'm pretty when I'm fat and frumpy?"

He pulled her into a kiss "you won't be fat and frumpy; you'll be pregnant and beautiful."

His kisses were awakening a desire in Meredith; she kissed him back running her hands along his chest. She pulled at his shirt slipping her hands underneath, running her hands along his bare skin. Derek pulled the sheets off Meredith so that he could run his hands along her body. He ran them up her stomach towards her chest. Just as his hands were reaching where they wanted to be he felt her pull away.

"What's wrong?" She leapt off the bed and ran to the bathroom, her hands covering her mouth.

Derek sighed with frustration and followed Meredith into the bathroom...


	9. Chapter 9

"So you told the chief?" Meredith nodded, she and Christina had just finished rounds. Christina was on her way to a surgery whilst Meredith had decided she'd best stick with running labs all day, she hadn't lasted more than an hour without throwing up since getting up that morning.

"And Bailey, we thought it'd be best in case anything happens. Then Addison knows of course which isn't at all awkward, except that it is, extremely. And then you know too. We aren't telling anyone else until we get the all clear."

"We'll see how long that lasts, this is Seattle Grace Hospital you work in, and the nurses have radar for this kind of thing. Plus you live with Izzie."

"Yeah well we'll cross that bridge when……..is that Thatcher?"

At the far end of the hall Thatcher was stood talking to, no, shouting at Lexie. He didn't look too steady and his words were slurred.

"I thought we talked about this Lexie, we said you wouldn't come here after what happened to your mother."

Lexie's face was bright red. "No dad, you said that I wouldn't come here, and anyway, it was too late. If I'd tried to transfer I would've had to wait until next year."

"Is a year out of your career too much to ask when you're mother has just died? Maybe if you had some respect for her"

"Dad, of course I have respect for mom, I love her, I…."

Before she could continue Bailey appeared in front of her and Thatcher. Facing Thatcher.

"Mr Grey, is there a reason why you are interrogating one of my interns for the third time this month?" She could smell alcohol on his breath as he attempted to answer.

"Do I need to call security or are you going to leave quietly?"

Thatcher just walked away shaking his head.

Seeing Meredith watching, Lexie walked over to her.

"I don't know what's gotten into him. Since mom died he's been a wreck. Drinking and rowing all the time."

Meredith pulled her face "Dr. Grey, is there a reason why you're telling me this"

"I…..well…..he's your dad, and he's making scenes in the hospital."

Meredith raised a hand to stop Lexie from talking. "OK, firstly, he's not my father; he hasn't been for about 20 years. Secondly, at least he wasn't making a scene with me for once." She started to walk away turning to add "Plus it could've been worse."

Lexie was annoyed "how could it have been worse?"

"He didn't slap you." Meredith carried on walking down the hall, Christina running to catch up with her.

* * *

"Why are we going to Joe's again?" Meredith asked Christina who was pulling her by arm so hard that Meredith was sure it would drop off.

"Because it's where we always go to drown our sorrows after a crap day at work. Hurry up" she carried on tugging Meredith's arm.

Meredith stopped walking. "Christina, have you forgotten something?"

"How annoying you can be sometimes? No I remember, come on lets go."

"I am not annoying, and that's not what I meant. I can't drown my sorrows. Well I could but I think Derek would get pissy about it."  
"Awww crap, I did forget." Christina paused for a minute then shrugged her shoulders "Oh well, they serve water, now hurry up. I need a drink." She grabbed hold of Meredith's arm again pulling her across the car park as Meredith giggled.

"Well if it isn't my two favourite doctors" Joe beamed from across the bar.

"Yeah whatever, I'll have a vodka and soda – no make that a double, and she'll have water." Christina pointed at Meredith

"Woah, did I hear right? You just ordered water for Meredith, the girl who drinks my entire stock of tequila." Joe looked gob smacked.

"Yes you heard right, she's on call tonight" Christina covered quickly. "Now shut up and get me my vodka." Joe mock saluted and went down the bar to fetch their drinks.

Meredith climbed onto a stool "So, why has your day been so crap?"

"One of the stupid nurses brought me some things up from laundry and in with my stuff were a few scrub caps that burke left behind." Tears filled Christina's eyes as she carried on talking. "It just seems that every time I start forgetting about him something happens, or something turns up that brings it all back."

"It'll get better soon, I'm sure. In the mean time you can console yourself with the fact that you have liquor to help you along, unlike me."

"True" Christina laughed. "Oh, look its Bambi. I heard he was back today."

They shouted George over. "Hey" He said, he pointed at Meredith's drink "is that water?"

"Yeah, so are you ok? Is it horrible being an intern with new people? We miss you, especially Izzie." Meredith noticed George flinch when she mentioned Izzie.

"It's ok you know. And the new interns are alright they have been nice, especially this one girl Lexie….I mean….er…I" George stuttered as he realised his mistake and saw Meredith's eyes narrow angrily.

They heard the door open and Lexie was stood waving to George.

"Bambi, I think your new best friend wants you." Christina said necking her vodka. George ran off towards Lexie feeling Meredith's eyes on his back.

"Does she have some sort of monopoly on the men in my life?" Meredith groaned. "I wish this was tequila." She added gulping her water.

It was getting late in the bar and Derek was due to meet Meredith any minute now. Lexie had been drinking tequila all night, George had left without saying bye to Meredith and Christina and Christina had drank so much that Meredith couldn't understand what she was saying anymore.

"So tomorrow……….I'm gonna find that stupid nurse………and I'm gonna say to her…………..Meredith? What was I gonna say to her?" Her words were slurred, Meredith shook her head "I have no idea" this was so much more fun when she was drunk too.

"Christina, I need the bathroom, are you alright for a minute?" Christina nodded and Meredith made her way to the bathroom rubbing her head. If she didn't feel sick then she had a headache and if she didn't have a headache she felt sick, she couldn't win.

As she sat in one of the stalls she heard two girls enter and recognised Lexie's voice.

"…..So from what George said they're constantly on and off. Let me work my charm and if their track record is anything to go by then – what is it they call him? McDreamy? How pathetic is that? Anyway, by the end of the month McDreamy will be mine."

Meredith was seething. She was going to march straight up to Lexie and tell her exactly when she could stick her "charm" but decided to listen and see what else she said, it was obvious that they didn't know Meredith was there.

The other girl spoke up. "Come on Lexie, you're an intern and he's an attending. A hot attending but still, what makes you think he'd go for you?"

"Hello? Meredith was only an intern when they started screwing around. Plus I practically asked him out twice, and true he said no both times, but he never said 'No I've got a girlfriend' the first time he told me he was at a bachelor party and the next time he said he still didn't even know my name. What do you think that means?"

Meredith sat shaking on the toilet; she heard them leave but still didn't get up. A few minutes passed then she heard Christina come in shouting her.

"Meredith! Meredith are you puking again? Derek is here and he wants to go home"

Meredith composed herself and left the stall and walked out of the toilets past Christina and up to Derek. He leaned over to kiss her but Meredith blocked him "Christina is drunk and is stopping at mine, it's probably best if you go to the trailer." She started gathering her things to leave.

"Ok I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He tried to kiss her again, this time she just turned her back on him as she left the bar "Whatever"

"Did I miss something?" Derek asked Joe when they'd gone. Joe just shrugged his shoulders.

On the other side of the bar Lexie looked at her friend. "Looks they're off again" Lexie smiled.

* * *

**Hey, so i was looking through the past chapters and realised that I hadn't left any thanks to everyone who reviews, so uh...thankyou, lol**

**It's really good to know that people are reading and to know what they think. Especially when you say you are enjoying it :D **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for the reveiws.**

**I think I should mention that I started writing this fic back in June when S3 had just finished and everybody hated Lexie (I still do lol). **

* * *

Derek decided to order a scotch before heading home. He'd had a long and stressful day and had been looking forward to going home with Meredith.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Lexie saunter up to the bar. He heard her order a tequila and groaned when she moved up next to him.

"Anything I can help you with Dr. Grey?"

"You could start by calling me Lexie………"

* * *

"What the hell was all that about?" Christina was running to try and catch up with Meredith.

"Nothing" Meredith was fumbling about in her purse as she answered. "Crap, I left my keys on the bar, I'll be right back."

* * *

"……….and I was thinking more of if there was anything I could do for you?"

Derek nearly choked on his scotch. She was coming onto him again?!

"No, I'm fine. Why don't you go back to your friends?"

Lexie stayed where she was. "I don't want to leave you all on your own"

"He's not all on his own!" Meredith marched up to the bar and grabbed her keys before wrapping her arms around Derek and kissing him. She turned to face Lexie "He has me, so you really should stop wasting your time"

Lexie turned red "I don't know what you're talking about"

"Yes you do" Meredith was trying not to shout "I heard you in the bathroom" she put on a squeaky voice and mimicked Lexie "Give me until the end of the month and McDreamy will be mine" her voice returned to normal "Isn't that what you said? Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but Derek and I are fine!" She turned back to Derek "Ready to go?" He nodded as he finished his scotch and put his arm around Meredith as they left the bar.

Once outside Meredith stopped and turned to Derek. "I'm so sorry about just walking out before, it's just I heard her in the bathroom and you should've heard what she was saying. I guess it just freaked me out, and I had a headache, and I've been on water all night, and I'm tired and pregnant and hormonal and emotional, and -"

Derek put a finger on her lips to shut her up. "Its fine and I know this is hard for you, all those different feelings all at once. Plus, the way you claimed me back in there, the way you were defending your territory, you were hot!" He kissed her "it turned me on?" Meredith laughed kissing him back "Oh did it now?" She put her hands round the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair "how much did it turn you on?"

Derek brought his kisses from her lips down to her neck making Meredith sigh "lots and lots."

"Maybe we should carry this on at home"

"mmmmmm" Derek came back up to kiss her ear "maybe we should"

They heard a cough behind them and looked round. Christina stood looking at them "should I call a cab and go home then?"

* * *

Meredith wiped her mouth and brushed her teeth, she'd just spent 20 minutes sat in front of front the toilet. She looked in the mirror, she didn't look good and she still felt queasy. She unlocked the bathroom door to find Izzie waiting with a cup of coffee. She tried to give it to Meredith. "Too much tequila last night?"

Meredith waved away the coffee "If only you knew" At least I'm not lying she thought to herself.

She returned to her room noticing a note on the bed side table that hadn't seen when she'd gotten up earlier because she'd been running straight to the bathroom. She picked up the note to read it.

_Good morning, I didn't want to wake you earlier when I was leaving. _

_I hope you weren't feeling too bad when you got up._

_See you at work, Love you, Derek_

_P.S. I really enjoyed last night, looking forward to a repeat performance very soon xxx_

Meredith smiled remembering last night……………

……………..Meredith had driven and after dropping Christina off at her apartment Derek had barely been able to keep his hands off Meredith. He started off with his hand on her knee, which soon moved to her thigh. They stopped at a red light and he took this opportunity to kiss her quickly. When the light changed to green he settled for kissing her neck and nibbling her ear still running his hand up and down her thigh.

Meredith couldn't wait to get home, the nibbling on her ear and neck was driving her crazy, each time Derek moved his hand up he got higher and higher up her thigh.

It wasn't soon enough when they arrived home and Meredith hadn't even unlocked the front door when she felt Derek behind her, his hands making his way up her top. They got inside and kissed their way upstairs, fingers fumbling with each others clothing. They were frantic, full of wanting and lust as they entered the bedroom.

"Do you realise" Derek was breathless as he pulled Meredith's top off "it's been over 5 weeks since we did this?"

Meredith pulled Derek's top off and threw it to floor "Is that a fact?" She started unbuttoning his pants "I guess you're pretty horny then huh?" she slowed down, deliberately teasing him.

He groaned as he pushed her onto the bed and finished taking his pants off. Meredith lay on the bed in her jeans and bra. Derek kneeled over her in his boxers leaning forward kissing her, he let his hands wander over her breasts feeling her raise herself upwards to meet his hands. He moved downwards so he was kissing her neck and his hands were unbuttoning her jeans. He pulled them off her and then took her bra off, kissing her now bare breasts.

Meredith had been well aware that it had been over 5 weeks since their last time and was desperate to have Derek inside of her. She pulled his boxers down and looked him in the eyes "Now!" her voice was filled with longing "I need you inside of me now!"…………………………….

* * *

………………Derek exited the elevator remembering last night. After reaching their climax together quickly the first time they'd made love another time, much slower than the first, before drifting off to sleep wrapped around each other.

If it was always that good after waiting 5 weeks then he was prepared to wait another 5 weeks before doing it again.

He reached the coffee cart and saw Mark, seeing Derek; Mark ordered two coffees and passed one over to him.

"What do you think of Yang?" Mark asked.

Derek took the coffee from him. "Christina?" he asked "I think she's competitive, fiercely so, well on her ways to becoming a great surgeon. One day she'll rival the likes of Burke. Why?"

"I think she's hot" Mark answered simply.

Derek laughed "I'd steer clear of her for a while if I were you. I think that after what Burke did to her she's off men for a while."

"I only said she was hot, I didn't say I planning to do anything" Derek just looked at Mark "Ok fine, I'm not planning on doing anything yet"

They were still laughing as they turned the corner and bumped straight into Meredith and Christina

"What are you laughing at?" Meredith asked

"Nothing" Derek watched Mark turn red "I'll tell you later" He said giving Meredith a kiss.

"You two are sickening" Christina said walking away.

"I'm gonna go too" Mark walked off in the opposite direction.

Meredith raised an eyebrow at Derek. "So?"

Derek smiled "My friend thinks your friend is hot!"

"So, how've you been today" Derek's face was full of concern and Meredith loved him for it.

She smiled grimly "It was awful this morning. I'd only just woken up and after 20 minutes of throwing up I just wanted to crawl back into bed. Then Izzie cornered me as I left the bathroom"

Derek's eyes widened "Does she know?"

"No" Meredith laughed "she assumed I had a hangover, which obviously I didn't because I just drank water last night, which by the way made Joe very suspicious." They both laughed until Meredith stopped, her face turning pale.

"Are you ok?" Derek put a hand to her cheek.

"mmm, a little nauseous but it'll pass"

Derek kissed her "Go find an on call room and lie down for a while, I'll page you if anything comes up." He kissed her again before she turned leave.

From the balcony of the second floor of the hospital Lexie could see Derek and Meredith talking and sighed. She wanted to get Derek alone, she couldn't say what she wanted to while Meredith was there.

She hated the fact that he was so obviously in love with Meredith. She hated that despite obviously loving Meredith he'd shown her enough attention at the bar to make her want him. She hated that Meredith actually had him. She hated that Meredith had been one of the last people with her mom before she'd died. She hated that she'd died and that it had been here. She hated that it'd been too late to switch to another hospital without having to wait for a year. She hated that her dad had become so dependant on drinking and that she didn't know how to help him. Most of all she hated Meredith.

As she carried on watching she saw Derek put his hand to Meredith's face and kiss her. Angrily Lexie stormed away. She'd have to talk to him later when Meredith wasn't around.


	11. Chapter 11

"Seriously, would it have been that hard for him to let me know what was going on? I mean he just tells us that he failed his exam then disappears for 3 weeks. Callie was just as bad, letting us worry about him when he's been absolutely fine, just enjoying a bit of leave before starting his intern year all over again, like it's nothing. I was his best friend until she came along, and then after that almost every conversation we had had to be cleared by her!" Izzie finally stopped for breath as Christina started banging her head against the table.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! Your rambling is migraine inducing. I know that it would've been nice to be in the know a bit but he's back now. If you're still so annoyed then find him and moan to him instead of me. I'm trying to eat my lunch."

Izzie looked annoyed for a minute before looking confused as she saw something behind Christina. "What?" Christina asked starting to turn around.

"No wait" Izzie hissed "don't turn around"

"Why? What is it?" Christina was still trying to look behind her.

"Stop it, look at me." Izzie was trying not to laugh. "I think McSteamy is checking you out!"

Christina's eyes and mouth were wide open as she turned around to find Mark Sloan staring at her.

* * *

Derek sat in the dark, empty gallery enjoying the silence. His first impulse when he'd finished in surgery had been to page Meredith but he knew that she needed her rest. You could tell that she was exhausted just by looking at her. He yawned, he hadn't realised it but her pregnancy was taking its toll on him too. He was constantly thinking about what she was doing and if she was ok.

They'd only known for a few days but it felt like so much longer. Even though it had been unplanned, the way that Meredith had embraced the fact that they were having a baby pleased him. He'd been upset when she seemed to be having doubts but he knew that she was pleased now, and that pleased him.

A shadow in the doorway snapped him away from his thoughts. He couldn't see who it was because the light was behind her but when she spoke up he recognised her voice

"Dr. Shepherd, I've been looking for you all day" Lexie sat down next to Derek and he instinctively stood to look at her. "Is that a fact?" He didn't know why she insisted on playing her game but he was tired of it.

"Yes, that's a fact Derek." As she said his name she stood up and tried to touch him.

Something inside of Derek snapped and it took all of his strength not to push her back into the seat.

"Dr. Grey, I don't know what you think you are doing but it stops right now. Meredith is the love of my life. I have been through too much to throw her away for someone like you. We have been through too much together to let you come between us, and Meredith has been through too much this year to have put up with your stupid tirades and crappy games." He walked towards the door pausing to tell her one last thing "If you insist on carrying on like this I will report you, you're putting your career on the line." Lexie was furious as she sat alone in the dark gallery.

* * *

"Dr. Yang!" Christina was stood reviewing charts at the nurse's station when she heard somebody call her name. She looked around and saw Dr. Mark "McStreamy" Sloan sauntering towards her. She looked back at her charts trying her best to ignore him, this was made quite difficult when he leaned over right in front of her pushing the charts out of her way. "Didn't you hear me?" He asked flashing her a smile.

"mmm, yeah I'm just ignoring you." She started walking away and he moved to walk with her.

"You don't want to ignore me" he loved this part, the chase. It was the part that was the most fun, apart from the sex of course.

"Really, because I feel like I do want to ignore you, and so I am, ignoring you that is." She walked a little faster down the corridor.

"Well you keep answering me, which means if you are ignoring me then you aren't doing a very good job. And I suppose that if you really are ignoring me then you won't want in on my really cool surgery during which I was thinking of letting whoever assisted me fly solo for a while. Never mind" As he walked back up the corridor Christina's impulses got the better of her

"WAIT" She chased after him "wait!!………………..

* * *

Meredith was observing Mark and Christina's surgery from the gallery when Derek found her. He sat down next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. "How are you?"

"Tired" She said yawning. "I was about to go home but then Christina told me she was scrubbing in with Mark and I didn't want to miss it."

Derek looked down into the OR "Is Christina actually doing the surgery?"

"Yeah" Meredith lifted her head and nodded. "Cool huh?"

Derek laughed "He must really, really fancy her. Mark never lets anybody do his surgeries."

"He let me." Meredith reminded him.

"Ah, but he was trying to impress the chief, not that it worked."

"How do you know? The chief never picked anybody, for all you know Mark could've been the man for the job."

"You mean I never told you?" Meredith looked clueless "He picked me, the day of the wedding, but I'd realized I wasn't ready for it, so he stayed on. He must have worked it all out with Adele, he told me that he's back living with her again."

Meredith looked at Derek, her face full of pride. "I'm so proud that you got picked, and even prouder that you rejected it."

Derek was surprised "Really?"

"Really" Meredith confirmed "I know how much you wanted chief, it must have been hard for you to say no, I mean that's what you came to Seattle for in the first place wasn't it?"

"Yes" he admitted "but everything that happened with you changed all that for the better."

"Good" Meredith said kissing him "I don't want to have to share you with the rest of the hospital anyway"

* * *

"Well Dr. Yang, what did you think of the surgery?" Christina didn't answer "Hello" Mark waved a hand in front of Christina. "Dr. Yang, can you hear me?" Christina just left the room, not saying a word. Mark looked confused for a second before realisation set in. He chased after her. "Oh I get it, you're ignoring me. After I let you perform a cool surgery like that you're still ignoring me?..."

Derek and Meredith were making their way out of the hospital when Derek got a page from the Chief. "I'm sorry, but I'd better go and see what he needs. Do you want to wait here?" Meredith shook her head, "it's ok, I'll come up with you." They turned around heading back towards the elevators.

"Can I get you a drink?" Christina was sat at the bar in Joe's with a full glass of beer in front of her. She looked at Mark and pointed at the glass. "I think I'm good thanks."

"Aha! You aren't ignoring me any more!" Mark looked smug.

"It obviously didn't work so I'm just going to politely decline everything you offer me. Besides ignoring you forever might make me seem hostile and I'd hate for that to happen." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"I didn't think you were one to pass up free beer Yang, you disappoint me, really you do."

Christina considered this for a second, "You are so right, I'll take the beer"

"Great!" Mark ordered a beer and held it out to her. "Now how about some free hot sex?"

* * *

"Chief, you paged?" Derek walked into the chiefs office with Meredith following behind him.

"I did, I thought you'd have come on your own though. This might be something you want kept private."

Derek looked at Meredith and smiled, "Anything you have to tell me you can say in front of Meredith. What is it?"

The chief cut straight to the chase. "Derek, an allegation has been made about you, by Lexie Grey. She says you've been making sexual advances to her ever since she started here."

"What!?" Derek and Meredith shouted at the same time, stunned expressions on their faces.


	12. Chapter 12

Meredith struggled to find words as she began pacing the floor. "She's lying, she has to be, I mean everyone's seen her, she must be lying, she's got to be. Derek!" She looked at him "Say something, she is lying right?" doubt was beginning to creep over her.

"Of course she is" Derek snapped running his hand through his hair. "It's because I threatened to report her." Meredith just stared at him, confused and upset by his sudden outburst.

"Derek, I think you both need to sit down and tell me exactly what's going on, from the beginning." Richard leaned forward on his desk.

Meredith sat looking at her hands listening as Derek told the chief about meeting Lexie at the bachelor party. It was all stuff she already knew until he got up to their encounter today. Her head shot up as she heard Derek tell the chief what had happened in the gallery. She couldn't believe the nerve of that woman. She wished Derek had told her when she'd seen him earlier. She'd have found Lexie and rearranged her cocky ass.

Derek let out a sigh as he finished telling Richard what had happened. "I should've come straight to you, I knew she was trouble."

"Well Derek, as you know there are procedures that have to be followed in this kind of situation and as much as I hate to I'm going to have to suspend you until this is cleared up." The chief looked saddened. "For what it's worth I'm backing you on this."

Derek was angry, he knew that the chief was only doing what he had to but he hadn't done anything wrong, except not report the little slut sooner. "And when I'm cleared, when it's proved that she's lying, what then? I hope she wont get away with it."

"That's for the board to decide. If anyone asks, you are off on leave. I don't want this spreading around the hospital it wouldn't do any good. I'm really sorry that I have to do this." He reached his hand out Derek and they shook hands.

They'd walked all the way down to the parking lot without saying a word to each other. Finally Derek cleared his throat and spoke up. "Meredith, I'm sorry I snapped at you." Meredith carried on walking. "I'm sorry you snapped at me too" she retorted.

"Glad we cleared that up" Derek mumbled from behind her rolling his eyes. Meredith was still walking and Derek realised they'd passed the car.

"Meredith, the car is over there" Meredith still didn't turn around.

"I'm not going to the car, I'm going to Joe's. I want to see Cristina."

"Fine, I feel like I need a drink now anyway"

"Fine!" Meredith snapped storming away faster.

"Fine!" Derek snapped back storming after her.

* * *

"Damit!!" Meredith walked into the bar to find Mark and Cristina sat at the bar looking particularly cosy. She marched over to the bar and got Joe's attention "Hey Joe, can I have my usual?" "I sure hope your usual is a soda" she heard Derek growl into her ear. "Go away, I don't want to talk to you" Joe handed her a shot glass full of tequila and she set it down on the bar. She could feel Derek glaring at her. "Relax would you, I'm not going to drink it ok? Now go away!" Cristina appeared behind Meredith. "You heard her, leave her alone" Derek shot Cristina a dirty look and went and sat with Mark.

"Thanks" Meredith said to Cristina gratefully.

"No problem, are you going to tell me what it was all about?"

"My dirty whore of a half sister is accusing Derek of coming on to her, she's been to the chief, and it's going to the board."

"What? You don't believe her do you?"

"Of course I don't, Derek wouldn't! Especially not with her."

"Sooooooo, you're mad at him because…….?"

"I'm not mad at him, I'm just mad. He annoyed me and I don't want to put up with him right now."

Cristina pointed to the shot glass "and the tequila is for?"

"Looking at" Meredith glared at Derek, "cos god forbid I actually drink it!"

Mark looked at Meredith glaring at Derek and laughed. "Looks like even though Lexie is lying something else you did has really upset her."

"I don't know what's gotten into her." He ran his hands through his hair. He sat up straight as he saw Lexie walk through the door with a few friends, including George. "Oh, crap"

"Meredith, McBarwhore just walked through the door." Cristina put down her drink ready to go over to Lexie and kick her ass. Before she had a chance though Meredith was out of her seat and halfway across the bar. Cristina chased after her.

Just as Meredith was reaching Lexie she felt somebody gently grab her by the waist and pull her back she spun around to face Derek and from the corner of her eye she saw Mark pulling Cristina back. "Derek, let me go! I'm just going to talk to her, honest!"

Mark was struggling with Cristina. "Maybe you are just going to talk to her but I can't say the same for your friend." "I swear to god if you don't let me go you'll never get in my pants! EVER!" "That's a chance I'm willing to take, plus I thought I wasn't getting in your pants anyway" "Shut up and let me go!"

"I know you both want to go and kick her ass but do you really think that will help things?" Derek had to shout to be heard over Cristina and Meredith.

"No" Meredith agreed "but it'd make me feel pretty good"

Derek pulled Meredith over to a booth and pushed her in so that she was sat on the inside, he sat next to her preventing her from getting out and Mark did the same with Cristina. They protesting loudly for a few minutes and sensing that they were getting nowhere Meredith flounced back leaning against the back of the booth and quietly watched Lexie.

"OK" Mark said standing up. "Can I leave you two alone with Derek while I get the drinks in?" Neither of them answered. "I'll take that as a yes then."

"Meredith will just have a soda," Derek told him. Mark raised an eyebrow. "Since when does Meredith drink soda?" he asked suspiciously. Derek had to think fast "I just think that she's excited enough without adding liquor to the mix." Mark seemed to accept this answer and headed off to the bar.

Meredith stayed quiet and kept watching Lexie sat with her friends. She saw Lexie get up and go towards the bathroom.

"Derek let me past I need to go to the bathroom." Derek looked doubtful; he wasn't going to let her past easily so she decided to lie a little. "Seriously if you don't let me past I'm going to throw up all over you" she brought her hand up to cover her mouth to make it look convincing. Derek moved to let her past. Cristina caught on and stood up, "I'd best go with her make sure she's ok."

When they got to the bathroom they could see that it was empty apart from Lexie who was stood fixing her hair at the mirror. They each stood on one side of her looking at her in the mirror.

Mark returned to the booth and was surprised to find Derek on his own. "Where are they?"

"Meredith said she needed to go to the bathroom"

"And you believed her?"

"I had no choice" Derek looked around him "ok, you can't tell anyone, but Meredith's pregnant" he smiled proudly "she went to the bathroom to be sick."

"Wow!" Mark was shocked, he shook Derek's hand. "Congratulations man, I'm happy for you, but I think Meredith may have played you."

"How do you mean?"

"Well when I was on my way to the bar I saw Lexie go to the bathroom, and she isn't back yet."

They gave each other a quick look and sprinted across the bar towards to the bathrooms


	13. Chapter 13

**I know it's been months since I updated this but I forgot I'd been posting here. I don't even know if anyone will still want read.**

Meredith threw her bag and keys onto the table in the hall and stomped upstairs to her bedroom.

"I can't believe you and Mark pulled us out of there before we had a chance to say anything to her." She yelled to Derek.

"I can't believe you used the baby as an excuse to get past me!" Derek yelled back as he followed her up the stairs.

By the time he reached her room Meredith was already putting on her pyjamas and getting ready for bed.

"I wouldn't have had to pretend to be sick if you'd have just let me go." She sat on the bed with her back to him.

"Meredith, I couldn't have let you go. Don't you see that even with the chief on our side we still need to keep our distance from her, and we can't let her see us fighting because that means she's winning." He heard Meredith sniffing from across the bed. "I don't want us to fight Meredith. Why are you angry at me?"

Meredith turned around wiping tears from her face. "Because," she started "because even though I know that Lexie is lying, and I know that you haven't done anything with her. Even though I know all of that, I can't help but think that if you'd never flirted with her on that first night you'd met her then she wouldn't be a problem now" She wasn't looking at Derek as she said the last part afraid to see his reaction.

"If you hadn't led her to believe that she had just the slightest chance with you even if it was just for that night then she might not have been so into you."

Derek sighed; he didn't like hearing what Meredith was saying but he couldn't deny it either. "You're right, and I'm sorry. If I could go back and change it I would. But I can't, so we're just going to have to stick together and get through this." He moved round the bed to sit next to her. "Can we do that?" She nodded still not looking directly at him.

"I'm sorry that I used the baby as an excuse," she said quietly. "I just knew that you'd definitely let me go if I said that."

Derek put his arm around her. "That's alright. Just don't do it again because I'll know next time." He laughed and then kissed her forehead. "Lets go to bed, it's been a long day.

* * *

George paid for his drinks and left Joe's. He dug into his pocket for his car keys. He'd only been drinking soda all night, since the night that he got drunk and slept with Izzie he hadn't really been drinking much. He groaned as he saw that Izzie was sat on a bench near his car clearly waiting for him. She stood up and approached him.

"You've been avoiding me since you got back." She said accusingly.

George answered honestly. "Yes, I have"

"Look, I know that I made that big speech on the day of the wedding but I've had some time to think what with not seeing you for 3 weeks and I just need to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what happened with us. I'm sorry if it did anything to affect you and Callie. Most of all I'm sorry that it ruined our friendship. I ruined our friendship."

George tried to speak but she carried on talking. "Like I said I've had time to think about this, and it all goes back to when you first moved out, when you first got with Callie. I was jealous, because you were talking to her when you used to talk to me. But I miss that, talking to you. I miss being your friend, and, if you'd be willing, I'd like us to be friends again. We can start slow, and I'll try harder with Callie. She's not a bad person. I know that. I just need us to be friends again." She finally stopped talking and took a breath. "What do you think?"

George looked at her, and thought for a moment. He did miss her. Spending the past few days with Lexie had made him realise how much he missed his friendship with Izzie. "Ok" he answered and started walking to his car.

"Ok?" Izzie smiled

"I'll see you at the hospital tomorrow?" George asked as he got into his car.

"Ok."

* * *

The next morning Derek woke up and found the other half of the bed empty. He could hear Meredith in the bathroom and felt sorry that she had to go through this everyday. He got up and knocked gently on the bathroom door. "Are you ok in there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Meredith answered sounding anything but fine. "Could you get me a glass of water please?"  
Derek threw on some jeans and a T-shirt and went downstairs to the kitchen. He wasn't surprised to see Izzie cooking breakfast. She looked better than she had all week.

"You know…this is the second time in two days that I've got up and found Meredith in the bathroom being sick." She pointed her spatula at him "is there something that you aren't telling me?"

Derek looked wide eyed and innocent. "Nope, nothing that I'm aware of, and if there is Meredith told me I'm not allowed to tell anyone." He answered teasingly.

"So she is!! Is she? Just tell me!" Derek laughed at how desperate Izzie sounded.

"I told you, I can't. But what I can tell you is that she didn't have anything to drink last night except soda, so it can't be that."

Izzie squealed just as Meredith came through the door. "I thought you were getting me a glass of - Izzie why are you hugging me?"

"I'm so happy for you, I can't believe this! You, and Derek, and a baby!"

"You told her!!" Meredith accused.

Derek raised his hands defensively. "I didn't tell her anything, she guessed"

"Izzie, let go of me! Ok, So Cristina knows, Bailey, the chief, Addison and now Izzie. I wonder how long it'll stay quiet for."

Derek looked guilty. "I may have told Mark as well. But before you get mad at me it's because I love you and I'm proud of you and I want everyone to know that we're going to be parents." He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted.

"Don't try and sweet talk me, we weren't supposed to be telling people yet." She turned to face Izzie "and don't you even think of telling anybody, nobody ok?"

Izzie went back to her cooking, "Ok fine I won't tell anyone. Why does everyone have this misconception that I'm a gossip?"

Before Meredith could answer she felt her stomach turn. "Are you cooking eggs?" she asked before running to the bathroom.

Izzie rolled her eyes and walked over to a cupboard. She handed a box of crackers to Derek. "Tell her to eat these; they are a life saver during the first couple of months."

He took the box from her looking confused "How do you know?"

She rolled her eyes again "Just take them to her."

* * *

A few hours later but at work Meredith was again sat on a cold hard floor in front of a toilet. She felt the crackers Derek had given her in the pocket of her lab coat. "Life savers my ass" she mumbled. She still felt like crap and wished she hadn't come into work today. She'd wanted to stay at home with Derek but he'd insisted that she should come and get as many hours in as possible before she had to finish for the baby.

She stood up, flushed the toilet and tried to straighten herself out. She chewed a stick of gum and left the stall. She went to the mirror; she really did look like crap. She noticed a girl next to her and saw that it was Lexie who was messing with her hair in the mirror.

"You spend a lot of time fixing your hair in the mirror don't you Dr. Grey?" Meredith commented.

"And you spend a lot of time puking in toilets don't you Dr. Grey?" Lexie retorted. "Some people just can't handle their hangovers. I'd thought you'd have managed to deal with them by now the number of drunken nights you've apparently had."

Meredith spun Lexie round so that they were face to face and pushed her back a little. "If you knew, just how close I am to kicking your ass, I really don't think you'd be stood here gossiping about me. And however bad I may be I've never come onto somebody who's already taken!"

"That's not the way I heard it." Lexie spat out, tying to back away from Meredith. The crazy look in Meredith's eyes was unnerving her. "I heard that he was back with Addison and kept you around on the side like some kind of mistress!"

Meredith raised her hand to slap her but before she had chance somebody grabbed it. She turned to face Bailey.

"Is there a problem here?" nobody answered. "Excuse me, did my lips move? Did sound come out of my mouth? Did I ask a question? Is there a problem here??" She repeated the question.  
Meredith looked at Lexie coldly. "No, no problem."  
"Right well, Grey-Lexie that is, Dr. Torres needs an intern, off you go." Lexie left so fast you could almost see a dust trail behind her.  
Bailey spoke to Meredith a bit more softly. "You look like crap, you've been in here more than an hour, go home." Meredith didn't have the energy to argue and actually wanted to go. "It gets easier" Bailey said to her, almost with a smile.


End file.
